We’re gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tapdanced with Danny fucking Kaye!

When I think of Christmas, many traditions come to mind, including several viewings of National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. This year is no different. On last viewing, I started to think about the dynamic and constantly floating cast that has filled the shoes of Audrey and Rusty, the beloved Griswold children. What better time than now to learn a little about the actors.

Let’s start at the beginning. Released in 1983, National Lampoon’s Vacation introduces the world to the Griswold family and features their misadventures in the quest for the perfect vacation/holiday. Starring Chevy Chase (Clark Wilhelm Griswold) and Beverly D’Angelo (Ellen Griswold) as the parents, the series has four official full-length films. In each, the kids, Rusty and Audrey, have been played by different actors and actresses at varying ages, making each role unique every time. Without that aspect, the films may have gotten old, fast. In my opinion, the movies go in this order (best to worst): European Vacation, Christmas Vacation, the original Vacation…and then Vegas Vacation. I’ve had many debates on this list and it has remained unchanged. 🙂

Some smaller offshoots of the series, including a made-for-TV movie and a promotional short that ran during the CBS network broadcast of Super Bowl XLIV in 2010, were created. I am, personally, a big fan of the Vacation movies, all except for the fourth installment in which the family goes to Vegas. Because I don’t dig it, I’m just going to skip over that one in this blog. The only really funny part of it is when Clark looks at the kids and says, “I hardly recognize you anymore!” obviously mocking the complete lack of continuity of the two characters of Rusty and Audrey.

The original Vacation is based on a story written by director/writer John Hughes (Sixteen Candles, Breakfast Club, Home Alone, etc.) called “Vacation ’58” previously written for National Lampoon magazine. Audrey was played by Dana Barron who still acts today. She appeared in many TV shows over the years, including a recurring role on Beverly Hills, 90210 as Nikki Witt. In 2003, Barron reprised her role as Audrey in Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie’s Island Adventure for NBC. If you’ve missed that one…no problem. It stinks.

Rusty was played by the one-and-only Anthony Michael Hall. At age 13, Hall had already done some TV and commercial work, but Vacation was his first big movie. Of course, a year later in 1984, Sixteen Candles was released and he became one of the founding members of the Brat Pack. To avoid being typecast as a quirky teen-John Hughes character, Hall turned down other roles that the director wrote specifically for him, including: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off as Cameron Frye and Pretty in Pink as Phil “Duckie” Dale. In the late ’80s, he took a two-year hiatus from the business to deal with a little drinking problem, and returned in 1990 with Tim Burton’s Edward Scissorhands. Apparently, rehab really agreed with him as he returned to the screen looking bigger and more muscular. In 1993, he played Will Smith’s love interest in Six Degrees of Separation. His last notable role was as the lead in the USA Network show, The Dead Zone (2002 to 2007).

Sidenote:
Originally, Disneyland was in the script as the Griswold’s destination, but the Disney Corporation would not give permission as they objected to the idea that the amusement park was not open 365 days a year. Thus, Walley World was created.
In the Walley World scenes near the end of the movie, Rusty, is taller than  his mom, Ellen, than from previous scenes where he was her height. During shooting, he grew three inches after principal photography. The ending had to be re-shot four months later, after the first one failed to excite test audiences.

For the second film in the series, European Vacation (1985), the Griswold family take a whirlwind trip around Europe after winning the grand prize on the TV show, Pig in A Poke, hosted by Kent Winkdale (played by John Astin as a parody of game show host Wink Martindale). Anthony Michael Hall was asked to reprise his role, but he passed so that he could co-star in Weird Science. Producers then decided to recast the roles of both kids. Audrey was played by Dana Hill—not an obvious choice for the role of the teenager dating Jack—played by ’80s hot guy/bully William Zabka.

Diagnosed at an early age with Type I diabetes, Hill maintained a very young appearance throughout her career because the disease stunted her growth. At age 17, she was pulled over by police whilst driving to her job on a CBS TV show because she looked too young to drive. A breakthrough role for her was the 1981 made-for-TV movie of a 12-year old molestation victim in Fallen Angel—pretty much the creepiest movie ever made. She was actually 17 at the time of filming. Another stand out role (to me, at least) was when she played Geraldine “Jellybean” Oxley, a 12-year-old developmentally disabled girl in the 1984 CBS Schoolbreak Special, Welcome Home Jellybean (“Jellybean! Jellybean!”). She was 19 at the time of that filming. Her child-like looks, I think, are a big reason as to why the casting of her as Audrey is so odd. Other than looking younger (she was 21 when she filmed European Vacation and was 5’0” tall and 82 pounds), she just doesn’t seem like the girl who got the hot guy. But, I cannot imagine anyone else delivering the line: “Who do I have to be thin for, huh???”—among many others. Just ask me some time…I am happy to recite the entire film. Just add alcohol. 🙂 Shooting Audrey’s “nightmare” scene where she is confronted by a never-ending stream of all her favorite foods until she ultimately pops, proved to be somewhat difficult with Hill’s diabetes. She had to be very careful to avoid actually swallowing any of the food she was supposed to be eating. Hill went on to do some more film roles, but in 1987 got into cartoon voiceover work, doing everything from The Jetsons to Pound Puppies to Rugrats. Unfortunately, in May of 1996 at age 32, Hill suffered a massive paralytic stroke. Two months later, she died. Again…strokes suck!

Rusty was played by Jason Lively, an actor that started his career at age 10 in the pilot episode of The Dukes of Hazzard. He has not done too much, other than the 1983 film Brainstorm. He does, however, come from a somewhat famous family of model/actors. His brother Eric and sisters Lori, Robyn and Blake all have careers of their own—the most widely known of the family are Robyn and Blake.

In Christmas Vacation, the Griswolds prepare for the holidays with a house full of family members visiting and a disappointing Christmas bonus. Audrey was played by a young and very blonde Juliette Lewis, of Kalifornia-, Natural Born Killers- and Cape Fear-fame.

Outside of acting, Lewis is a scientologist that has done her time in rehab. At age 14, she left her parents home to live with family friend and horror film queen, Karen Black. Lewis eventually dropped out of high school. In 1999, she married professional skateboarder Steve Berra, and then divorced in 2003. In October of 2010, she was involved in a hit-and-run accident when the car she was a passenger in was hit. She’s OK and performs as lead singer in a rock band.

Johnny Galecki played Rusty (an obviously younger looking version than previous films) in Christmas Vacation. Today, he’s a very accomplished actor having appeared in TV, film and on stage. His most notable characters are the lovable sensitive guy on Roseanne and the nerdy genius on The Big Bang Theory.

Sidenote:
The role of elderly and out-of-it Aunt Bethany was played by Mae Questel, who began her career in 1930 as the voice of cartoon character, Betty Boop. Christmas Vacation was her final role.
The theme song for Christmas Vacation is sung by Mavis Staples.
Merry Christmas! 🙂

Three Books, Three Holiday Albums

I’m still loving the Holiday season and have probably watched Elf about 10 times thus far. So, to keep the Holiday spirit going, here are some more fun Holiday gift ideas…well, at least for the literate people in your life. Buy them at a local mom-and-pop bookstore!Simple Times: Crafts for Poor People by incredibly cool comedian/writer/actor/cheese artist Amy Sedaris is newly released on paperback and is chock full of fun and funky things to do with all the crap you have around the house. Amy once said that ugly people craft and attractive people have sex. Along those lines, she likes to kid that she has been having a long-term relationship with her imaginary boyfriend for years. Some of the craft projects shown in the book include pompom ringworms, crab-claw roach clips and mouse ghetto apartments. I also HIGHLY recommend Amy’s previous book, I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence where she discusses throwing amazing and fun parties, often including her dealer at some stage of the festivities or preparation.

Super funny OutQ, SiriusXM radio host and comedian Frank DeCaro has just released a new cookbook titled The Dead Celebrity Cookbook: A Resurrection of Recipes from More Than 145 Stars of Stage and Screen. Frank, a collector of many things from action figures to old movies, has taken some of the most fun recipes cultivated from years of pouring over cookbooks, old Hollywood biographies and vintage magazines. Highlights include Joan Crawford’s Poached Salmon, Bea Arthur’s Good Morning Mushroom Tomato Toast, Liberace’s Sticky Buns, Farrah Fawcett’s Sausage and Peppers, Andy Warhol’s Ghoulish Goulash, Johnny Cash’s Old Iron Pot Family-style Chili, Vivian Vance’s Chicken Kiev and Lawrence Welk’s Vegetable Croquettes.

This 2008 book is an oldie but a goodie because it’s written by Dave Madden, most famous for his work in The Partridge Family as the one-and-only Reuben Kincaid. Reuben on Wry: The Memoirs of Dave Madden is a tell-all from an actor once regarded as the nicest man in Hollywood. In this book, he talks about why the role of Chris Partridge, the youngest kid in the bunch, changed after the first season with no explanation. Apparently, on-set feuds between the actor Jeremy Gelbwaks and ginger nightmare Danny Bonaduce were so out of control, producers had to decide which one was disposable. Jeremy would kick Danny under the table as hard as possible in the middle of a scene and Danny would lunge at him over the table. Danny was a big hit for the show, so he wasn’t going anywhere. In seasons two through four, the role of Chris was played by Brian Forster who apparently knew his place. 🙂 Madden also gushes about how much love and admiration he has for Shirley Jones (mama Partridge), but that any interaction with her husband Marty Ingels was one interaction too many.

If reading isn’t your thing, how about some Holiday music? After all, rule number three in the Code of Elves is: The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.

Crazy, drug-addled, metalhead…OK, none of this applies to anyone who puts out a Holiday album, so I don’t know if Scott Weiland needs the cash to pay for his extensive stays at rehab or whatever, but this is just not right. I’ve never really been a big fan of his or Stone Temple Pilots or Velvet Revolver (a band he said he participated in strictly for the money). The album cover alone is annoying. On The Most Wonderful Time of the Year, Scott sings the classics “I’ll be Home for Christmas,” “Winter Wonderland” and “Silent Night.” The album has received some good reviews, if you actually pay attention to the critics. All I know is, anyone who has done as many drugs as Scott Weiland should not have teeth that look like that. Maybe he did the album to pay his dental bills. 🙂

Happy Holidays, the 2006 album by aging punk rocker Billy Idol makes me wanna punch a wall. I was a fan of his from the beginning. Nothing beat his early stuff and Generation X, one of his first bands. With songs like “Frosty the Snowman,” “Blue Christmas” and “Run Rudolph Run,” Billy can pretty much turn in his punk rock membership card. Here’s a nice, old Generation X video to clear your palate.

I always love compilation Holiday albums and Starbucks seems to put out some good ones. This year’s installment is Let It Snow featuring artists such as Bob Dylan, Death Cab for Cutie, Brenda Lee, Elvis Presley and Fiona Apple (she does a horrible version of “Frosty the Snowman”). The album as a whole is not bad, but I do prefer previous years that had Aimee Mann, Jack Johnson, The Bird and the Bee and Rufus Wainwright. I have a soft spot for Rufus. 🙂

Improve the Economy! Support Your Friends!

Time for Christmas/Hanukkah/Festivus shopping, people! The holiday season, of course, is about more than just giving and receiving, but it’s also about spirit. That being said, the National Retail Federation forecasts a 2.8 percent increase in holiday spending from last year–that would be $465.6 billion to be spent! I started to think about all of the gorgeous, talented people in my life that are unemployed, or under-employed. It’s a crappy situation. And whether you’re sitting in Zuccotti Park on the New Haven Green or sitting in traffic, I think we all can agree that the more we support each other, the better we all will be. Supporting small businesses are really the way to go this year. So, here are a handful of very cool, hard-working, local entrepreneurs running their own businesses, offering amazing products and services. Some of these people may be your friends and neighbors too and they would love and appreciate your support. Spread the love and connect with some very cool people in the process. Please, please, please share this blog on your Facebook and Twitter pages to help spread the word. And, be sure to seek out the mom-and-pops this holiday season.

Happy Holidays Gorgeous Party People!

Oh my, how the world still dearly loves a cage.

No self-respecting punk rocker or goth can say that they do not have a soft spot for the 1971 film, Harold and Maude.

Shot in San Francisco and directed by Hal Ashby, the film was a commercial flop in its original release, yet through the years has gained cult status. The dark comedy is centered around a couple, 19-year old Harold Chasen played by Bud Cort and 79-year old Maude Chadrin played by the always elegant Ruth Gordon.

The two cross paths while attending funerals, a hobby for both, and fall in love. When not at funerals, Harold spends much of his time staging faux suicides in an effort to gain the attention of his seemingly emotionless, socialite mother played by Vivian Pickles.

Maude, is a diminutive woman who has learned to love life and to live it to its fullest. Obviously, if you’ve not seen the film, I will not ruin the end, but please, please, please do see it! You won’t be disappointed. While the film may not have done well in the theaters, both Gordon and Cort were nominated for Best Actress and Actor in a Musical Comedy, respectively, at the 1971 Academy Awards.

Before Cort acquired the role of Harold Chasen, he starred in acclaimed director Robert Altman’s Brewster MacLoud. He and the director remained close friends, and at Altman’s urging, Cort turned down the role of Billy Bibbit in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest in an effort to avoid being typecast as a weirdo. But quirky was, and is, his middle name. For many years, he lived as a houseguest of Charlie Chaplin. The two would sit on Chaplin’s bed–the famed silent actor in his pajamas no matter what time of day–and watch old films. Bud was also great friends with artist Ed Ruscha and eccentric actor/director Orson Welles, and is still close to actress and MacLoud co-star Sally Kellerman. He dated actress Patti D’Arbanville (recent roles include a spot on Rescue Me!) and proposed to her twice. She said ‘no’ twice.

In 1979, Bud was nearly killed in a car accident on the Hollywood Freeway, that left him with a fractured skull, several facial lacerations, a broken arm and leg and the loss of several teeth. Years of corrective plastic surgery left him unsatisfied. Today at age 63, he continues to act, as well as write and is considered an accomplished painter. Some notable recent TV and film credits include: The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, Dogma, Pollock, Coyote Ugly, “Arrested Development,” “Funny or Die Presents,” “Criminal Minds” and “Ugly Betty.” Sidenote: Oftentimes, when Bud is interviewed he is asked about Harold and Maude. To say he is a little bitter is an understatement. He talks about not being the recipient of any wealth that the film has gained through its cult status, although he does say he occasionally receives checks for $.11.

Ruth Gordon was already a star when she was cast as the free spirit Dame Marjorie “Maude” Chardin. One of her best known characters was as Minnie Castevet in Rosemary’s Baby, for which she won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. She also won many accolades for having written film scripts, plays and books. She was born in 1896, and landed her first acting role in 1915 as an extra in silent films. That was also the same year she made her Broadway debut.

In 1921, she married her first husband, actor Gregory Kelly, who died six years later at the age of 36 of heart disease. Two years later, she had her only child, a son named Jed, who was born out-of-wedlock with Broadway producer Jones Harris. In 1942, she married her second husband, writer Garson Kanin with whom she wrote various screenplays for Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy films. She acted in way too many films and Broadway productions to list over the span of her life. In the ’70s, she wrote three volumes of her memoirs. She remained good friends with Bud Cort after the filming of Harold and Maude and was godmother to Natalie Wood’s daughter actress Natasha Gregson Wagner. In 1985, Ruth died of a stroke. Sidenote: Strokes suck.

Two other notable characters were Harold’s mother played by English actress Vivian Pickles (looooove that name!) and Ellen Geer who played one of the few lucky ladies that were set up with Harold on a blind date.

Vivian began her career as a child actress in England in 1944 in children’s films. Her most recent credit is the 1986 film The Insurance Man, alongside Daniel Day-Lewis and Jim Broadbent. Today, she is a widower at 80 years old and lives in London. She has one son.

Ellen is an American actress who has appeared in many TV shows and films such as “Baretta,” “Barnaby Jones,” “Charlie’s Angels,” “CHiPs,” “Fantasy Island,” “Star Trek: The Next Generation,” and “CSI.” More recent work included a recurring role as Future Piper on “Charmed” and in “Desperate Housewives” in 2007. She lives in Topanga Canyon, California, where she helps run a repertory theater. What makes her notable in my eyes, is the accidental slip that she does while walking from room to room in her scene. She almost falls, which I know isn’t nice, but makes me laugh every time. Director Hal Ashby must have agreed, because he left it in the film.

Fun Harold and Maude Facts:
Greta Garbo was Bud Cort’s first choice for the role of Maude.
Ruth Gordon didn’t know how to drive (not ideal when her character was known to steal cars whenever she felt the urge), so all scenes where she was behind the wheel were shot whilst the vehicle was being towed.
In Maude’s home, all of her picture frames were empty. In the book (but not the film) this was explained. Maude felt that the pictures mocked her by their images staying sharp, while her memories began to fade. There were many hints in the novel to Maude’s possible impending dementia.
A handful of actors were considered for the role of Harold, including Elton John.
Actor Tom Skerritt played a small role in the film as a motorcycle officer. He was credited as M. Borman.
The soundtrack featured music by Cat Stevens, pre-Yusuf Islam. “Don’t Be Shy” and “If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out” were both composed specifically for the film.

Six Holiday Gift Ideas For That Special Someone In Your Life

I love Christmas. Well, the holidays in general. It all starts for me with Halloween and just goes into a good two-month holiday fest. If it were socially acceptable, I’d listen to Christmas music 365 days a year. One great website for creative, fun and one-of-a-kind gifts is etsy.com. Here are just a few holiday gift ideas. All items can be found on: http://www.etsy.com. If this doesn’t get you in the Christmas spirit then you’re a heartless shell of a human being without a soul. 🙂 fa la la la la laaaaa la la la la la laaaa!

And on that note…let the holiday season begin!!!!!!! 🙂

Like Totally For Sure!

Few ’80s teen sexploitation films can say they are loosely based on Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet.” OK, so pretty much all movies that have ‘teen’ in the description are Montague and Capulet-inspired, but one stands above the rest…Valley Girl. Released in 1983, this romantic comedy featured newcomer, and former Maybelline model (Shine Free AND Kissing Potion lip gloss ladies! You remember the ads.), Deborah Foreman as Julie Richman (ha ha! I get it, cuz she’s rich and all!) the popular and pretty valley girl who crosses paths with super-cool punk rocker Randy (no last name given) played by a young Nicolas Cage.
Blah, blah, blah…Julie is the prom queen dating the cool guy, Tommy (Michael Bowen), her friends pressure her not to fall for Randy, but ya know, he’s cool and from Hollywood and listens to the Plimsouls! What girl could resist? Not Julie and she struggles with her need to buy bright pink mini skirts and fingerless gloves at Wet Seal with her friends at the mall or hang out in dark dive bars with Randy and his sexy flippy tri-colored hair. In the end, true love endures and they fall in love…they don’t end up dead like in “Romeo and Juliet.”
Some quick movie facts: the film had a budget of $325,000 and producers were told by the studio that it must earn an R-rating with a minimum of four pairs of bare breasts shown in an effort to attract more male viewers. It was actually a financial success, having earned more than $17 million in domestic earnings. What really set this movie apart from the others of its time and genre are the main players, some of whom went on to illustrious careers in the entertainment industry.

We all know where Cage ended up, but Valley Girl was the first time he used the name Nicolas Cage and not Nicolas Coppola, his real name. Not sure why he felt having the family name would hurt his chances in the movie industry (uncle is Francis and cousin is Sofia), but whatever. It is said that he wanted to avoid the appearance of nepotism, even though his uncle was instrumental in getting Nicolas roles. But I digress…. Funny Valley Girl fact: Nicolas is a hairy guy, so director Martha Coolidge asked him to trim his chest hair a bit, so he basically cut the Superman design (minus the S) into his chest. Check out the beach scene for confirmation.

The role of Julie was originally going to be played by Michelle Pfeiffer, but went to Foreman instead. Having modelled as a teen, Foreman got her first acting break in a McDonald’s commercial that ran only in England.

Foreman also went on to appear in movies Real Genius, My Chauffeur and April Fool’s Day. Today, she owns and operates an online graphics company called DF Graphics.

Julie had a gaggle of close friends at her school, one of which was played by E.G. Daily, one of the most accomplished castmates to come out of the film. As the adorable and slutty Loryn, Daily went on to have an acting, singing and voiceover career. Her credits include (brace yourself): the role of bike repair extraordinaire Dottie in Pee-wee’s Big Adventure, appeared as a singer at the prom in the classic Better Off Dead, played a runaway teen in Rod Stewart’s “Young Turks” video, and played Candy in Rob Zombie’s The Devil’s Rejects, to name just a few. She had songs that have appeared in the films The Breakfast Club, Summer School and Scarface.
But, it’s her voiceover work that has been her moneymaker: She sings the part of young Jake Harper in the opening theme to One and A Half Men, she was the voice of Babe in all of the films, and Tommy Pickles in Rugrats and All Growed Up. Her newest work is playing the voice of Mumbles in the Happy Feet films. Memorable TV appearance include an episode of Friends (The One with Phoebe’s Ex-Partner) and as musical guest for Saturday Night Live in 1986. By the way, Daily was one of the bare breasts that helped the film garner an R rating.
Another friend of Julie was Suzi Brent played by Michelle Meyrink who some of you may remember as female nerd Judy in Revenge of the Nerds and hyper-nerd smartie Jordan Cochran in Real Genius. She also played Marcia, Cherry Valance’s friend, in the film The Outsiders and was cast as Mallory’s best friend in the TV show Family Ties. She eventually dropped off the Hollywood map, studied Zen Buddhism and moved back to her hometown of Vancouver. Today, she is married with three kids and was featured on a Canadian TV series called Quiet Mind in 2004 focused on people who practice Zen Buddhism.

Julie’s jock boyfriend was played by Michael Bowen whom imdb credits 111 roles between the years 1982 and 2012. He is the half-brother of Robert and Keith Carradine, and uncle to Martha Plimpton. He appeared in Less Than Zero, Jackie Brown, Magnolia, Kill Bill and has Slumber Party Slaughter slated for a 2012 release. 🙂 He also appeared in Lost as Danny Pickett.

Actress Joyce Hyser had a small supporting role in Valley Girl as Joyce, but more importantly, she went on to star in Just One of the Guys in 1985. The coolness of that film cannot be discussed here, so be prepared for a full blog entry on that one. She was in This Is Spinal Tap, and numerous TV shows, but she is also known for having a five-year relationship with Bruce Springsteen. In the ’80s she was in a Dan Hartman video for his song “I Can Dream About You.”
One notable role is that of Randy’s ex-girlfriend Samantha that he meets in a club (after he is rejected by Julie) and has a pretty hot make out scene with in the bathroom. The actress is Tina Theberge. Warning: Appearance number two of required boobs.

What’s really odd is the movie poster for Valley Girl features Cage with a girl, meant to be Foreman, but is actually Theberge with blonde hair. They look nothing alike and it makes no sense. Very strange.
Music-wise, an official soundtrack wasn’t released until years later due to clearance problems, but The Plimsouls appear in two scenes at a punk club and Josie Cotton (and the Party Crashers) sing her infamous song, “Johnny Are You Queer?” at the Valley prom.

Sidenotes:
Julie’s hippie, health store-owning parents were played by Colleen Camp and Frederick Forrest who also appeared together in Apocalypse Now.
Camp was a mere nine years older than Foreman during the filming of Valley Girl.
Producers of the film wanted to get Frank Zappa on board as his song “Valley Girl,” sung by his daughter Moon Unit Zappa was in the charts at the time. Frank refused and sued the producers. He eventually lost the case.

Five Things That Scared Me As A Kid

The other night, whilst flipping through the channels I stopped on an infomercial peddling some ridiculously huge CD set of bad ’80s music. Suddenly, an Air Supply video appeared on the screen and I had a flashback of being a 10-year old girl, paralyzed with fear at the sight of those two guys. They scared the crap out me! The tall, blonde one with the weird blank stare. The smarmy, short, dark-haired one with the spiral perm. Absolute horror! I always got the serial killer vibe from the two of them. It got me thinking about other things that used to scare me as a child and with Halloween just around the corner, what better time to blog about it.

While I am a big Talking Heads fan, the video for “Burning Down the House” used to give me the creeps. Maybe it was because I would have a recurring dream as a child that I would see a face in the sky, but David Byrne appearing on the side of the house would make me run to the TV to shut it off. The song, the first single off the band’s fifth album Speaking in Tongues, is great, yet still freaks me out. But, not to worry…Clear Channel has our backs. After the September 11 attacks, “Burning Down the House” was one of the songs deemed “possibly inappropriate” for radio play.
When I was a kid, my parents had the best record collection–the beatles, Carly Simon, Fleetwood Mac, James Taylor, John Lennon, Wings, Cheech & Chong and Queen. They were cool! Long haired guys with guitars became my first crushes. But, one album stood out. News of the World, the 1977 album from Queen featured some of the most horrifying images to my 6-year old eyes. Featuring a giant robot holding the bloody bodies of people, the album spawned hits like “We Will Rock You,” “We Are the Champions” and “Spread Your Wings.”

The artwork was a painting by American artist Frank Kelly Freas and his work was featured heavily on the covers of Astounding Science Fiction magazine. This particular image was on the October 1953 cover.

Queen drummer Roger Taylor was a fan of the magazine and contacted the artist. The band asked him to alter the image a bit–replacing the single victim with the four band members, all dead. The inner album cover image featured the robot reaching for a fleeing audience of screaming concertgoers. Fun! Total nightmare-inducing.

The New Zoo Revue was a children’s show that featured three main characters of adults in huge animal costumes. They’d sing, dance and roller skate. It would air in syndication, and I’d watch it on a New York City channel at 6 a.m. Just the mere sound of the theme song would freak me out. Granted it was a really old show that I would see in reruns, but it was just so bizarre and unnerving.

Originally aired from 1972 to 1977, the show ran for 196 episodes and was considered a musical comedy that was supposed to teach kids things like manners, patience and how to cope with a family move. Ummm, OK. The costumed, adult-sized characters were a tutu-wearing Henrietta Hippo, the whimsical Freddie the Frog and the scientist/inventor Charlie the Owl, all of  whom would interact with two actual humans, Doug and Emmy Jo. The humans were weird and nerdy and also married in real life. They’re still together and run a video production company in Las Vegas called Laguna Productions. Sounds about right. I’m pretty sure if you’re looking for a company to shoot your amateur porn for you, they’d take the job. But, I could be wrong. Of course, the cameo of Freddie the Frog will cost you extra. 🙂
Fun fact: Sometimes the New Zoo Revue gang was visited by some other adult-sized, costumed friends, one of which was elderly postman Mr. Dingle played by Chuck Woolery the suave host of Love Connection. Would you believe that crappy show ran from 1983 to 1994? Who knew… “We’ll be back in two and two.” 🙂

No list of child-terrifiers would be complete without a mention of the 1973 film, The Exorcist. I was drawn to it because it was about a young girl named Regan McNeil, who wore cool polyester plaid pant suits and was so rich that she had one of those vibrating beds that you didn’t even have to put any quarters in to run! Of course, the reality is that it’s one of the most chilling movies ever made. But, the real clincher for me was when they added the never-before-seen spiderwalk, back into the film in 1998 when Warner Bros. rereleased the digitally remastered DVD: The Exorcist: 25th Anniversary Special Edition.

This spiderwalk featured no blood spewing, but after some influence from fans and screenplay writer William Peter Blatty, CGI artists added blood and rereleased the film back into theaters in 2000.

I know this blog is extremely random. Sorry. 🙂 Happy Halloween!

Bizarre Commercials from Around the World

So, in China, the Irish are known for their Kentucky Fried Chicken? Good to know. Or is this just racist because they’re using stout on the chicken. 🙂 You decide. Plus, that supposed irish guy in the commercial would get his ass kicked on the streets of Dublin.

Here is another KFC commercial…and more confusion. Is that chicken or fish? Blech. And crushing the president with an enormous sandwich is just not nice.

In France, McDonald’s promotes gay equality…oh yes, that’s their new target audience. This is just weird. It’s got the heartfelt music, the sweet father/son conversation that is followed by the “Come As You Are” tagline. I love the idea…hate the messenger.

I’m pretty sure this Italian commercial for Coloreria Italiana laundry detergent is racist.

In Scotland, all babies are lured out of their mothers’ wombs with a can of Irn Bru. 🙂

And, one more from Scotland’s drink of choice, Irn Bru…because it’s great.

Sidenote: Irn Bru (Iron Brew) is a soda from Scotland, touted as ‘Scotland’s other national drink’ (the first, of course, being whiskey). It can be found in the U.S., but has a slightly different recipe, since some of the ingredients are actually deemed unfit for a beverage in the U.S. It tastes similar to that of melting down about 10 creamsicles and adding some seltzer. Definitely an acquired taste. Foxon Park, an East Haven, CT, company makes their version called Iron Brew that is described by the company as a cross between cola, cream soda and root beer.

Stuff I Can’t Live Without, Part III

Here is the third installment of Stuff I Can’t Live Without, where some of my gorgeous, lady friends anonymously reveal what are their handbag essentials. Enjoy!

Stop Staring At Me!!!

At work, there are certain floor tiles in the bathroom that, I think, look like some famous people. OK…so TWO of the tiles look like famous people.

One is Charlie Manson from the iconic LIFE magazine cover, published on December 19, 1969.

The other image is of Bobby Sands, a political activist for the Provisional Irish Republican Army who died in 1981 during a hunger strike while imprisoned at HM Maze Prison in County Down, Northern Ireland. OK, to be fair, not many people would know about him, but in my world, I recognized his face in the tile immediately. Also, you have to see the tile upside down for it to look like him. 🙂 Yes, I know it’s a stretch. Humor me.

I have yet to see a Jesus tile. I will keep you posted.