Here is the third installment of Stuff I Can’t Live Without, where some of my gorgeous, lady friends anonymously reveal what are their handbag essentials. Enjoy!
At work, there are certain floor tiles in the bathroom that, I think, look like some famous people. OK…so TWO of the tiles look like famous people.
One is Charlie Manson from the iconic LIFE magazine cover, published on December 19, 1969.
The other image is of Bobby Sands, a political activist for the Provisional Irish Republican Army who died in 1981 during a hunger strike while imprisoned at HM Maze Prison in County Down, Northern Ireland. OK, to be fair, not many people would know about him, but in my world, I recognized his face in the tile immediately. Also, you have to see the tile upside down for it to look like him. 🙂 Yes, I know it’s a stretch. Humor me.
I have yet to see a Jesus tile. I will keep you posted.
I dig dive bars. The grungier and louder the better. That’s why I’m a fan of a few places scattered around New Haven, CT (Café Nine, Rudy’s, Elm Bar, the Submarine, Popeye’s Garage, etc.). But, throughout the years I’ve grown to also love the graffiti that scours the wall of these bars, specifically in the bathrooms. The words are often meaningful, sometimes spiteful, and even funny. But the bottom line is they tell you a lot about the people who have called these places ‘home.’ So, when my friend Arti D suggested that I do a blog on bathroom graffiti, I recruited him and our pal Mike D (no relation, except maybe in a Bizarro World) to be my photographers for the men’s rooms, while I handled the women’s rooms. One setback has been the ‘sanitizing’ that takes place right before a new school semester begins. Apparently, the bars and clubs in the Elm City feel the need to make things a little cleaner before the Yalies descend on the area. Boo. Hopefully, as the year moves on and the graffiti returns to more walls, we can do a Part II of this blog. Until then, here is a look at bathroom graffiti from various places around New Haven and beyond. It’s a discussion among the sexes in
—He Said, She Said.
In the “I’m Just Gonna Put It All Out There” category is 44-year old, irish songstress, Sinead O’Connor. Recently, she has been using her blog (found at: www.sineadoconnor.com) to talk about some very private subject matter. Namely, her current romantic life and its lack thereof.
“My sh-uation sexually/affectionately speaking is so dire that inanimate objects are starting to look good as are inappropriate and/or unavailable men and/or inappropriate and/or unavailable fruits and vegetables. I tell you yams are looking like the winners,” she writes. “Needless to say what I do for a living makes it hard for me to find men that only want me cuz they like my (legendary) arse. Yet I am in the peak of my sexual prime and way too lovely to be living like a nun. and it’s VERY depressing.”
On the 16th of this month, Sinead posted an “advert for boy (man) friend” that includes such gems as:
Has to actually be single. NON-NE-FUCKING-GOTIABLE
Preferably sterile. (The lady doesn’t want any more pregnancies)
Interested in and capable of sex at least once a day.. (If the lady feels like it).
Sexually must be very loving, cuddly, affectionate, sweet, funny, and also reasonably filthy. (The lady is all of the above and will absolutely reciprocate)
There must be a LOT of kissing before during and after love-making (The lady likes kissing).
Must provide me with Fry’s chocolate cream bars (NOT a euphemism for anal sex) at least once a week and do all he can to ensure the Fry’s people never go out of business. (The lady loves Fry’s chocolate creams. Crunchies, peanut m+ms, and chili-chocolate may be substituted if Fry’s are sold out)
Has to be blind/mad enough to think I’m gorgeous.
Must be hairy. No waxed or buffed need apply. NON-NEGOTIABLE. (bald heads are however, acceptable as the whole man looks like an erection. Especially if a tiny ‘eye’ is painted on top of head)
No pierced nipples.
No addictions other than sex, cigarettes or coffee (the lady loves all three)
No homo-phobes. NON-NE-FUCKING-GOTIABLE
No accountants (boring)
No stamp collectors (flaccid)
Must, when lady is ‘moody’ or ‘cross’ dis-arm her with love-making. This is the secret key.
So, if you feel that you fit the bill, Sinead is accepting applications at: email@example.com or you can Tweet her @howryeh. She’s also been getting some media attention for recent Tweets and blogs where she talks about how if she didn’t have children (she has four from three marriages), she would consider suicide. Now her webpage is littered with information on organizations for people feeling suicidal to get help. She must have really gotten a lot of shiite for it. I do have to say, I love her still. She does an amazing version of “I Am Stretched on Your Grave” that still gets a lot of play on my iPod. Oh, and “This Is the Last Day Of Our Acquaintance”…amazing song. And don’t even get me started on her version of “Haunted” with Shane MacGowan…
She’s changed her Twitter handle: @vampyahslayah. Her website is still a destination for those looking for a good laugh. But, more importantly, her quest for a new husband was fulfilled…albeit only for 16 days. She married drug counselor Barry Herridge at a drive-thru wedding chapel in Las Vegas. She has cited influences in his life as the reason for the split, but claims to still love him very much. She has bounced right back, having performed at the National Concert Hall in Dublin, Ireland, on New Years Eve, ringing in 2012. And, she looks pretty good!
On the other end of the Spectrum is…
Known as the powerful voice behind the ’80s band Yazoo, as well as having a very successful solo career, Alison has had her weight struggles. Today, she looks amazing. Still singing, Alison is the mother of three and married to a teaching assistant. She also has a new album coming out in 2012. Also, singer Adele bears a striking resemblance to Alison, non?
And, here is Alison in 2009 on The Graham Norton Show (I love him!). Begin watching at the 6 minute, 20 second mark.
In 1986, MTV began airing the british sitcom The Young Ones. Thus began my love affair with the show. The story centered around four main characters, each an undergraduate student at Scumbag College living together in a house in North London. The show first broadcast on BBC2 in 1982, ran for only two series, featured non-sequitor plot turns, musical guests such as Motorhead, Dexy’s Midnight Runners, The Damned, Madness and Amazulu, and even flash frames (three frames equal to 1/8 of a second showing bizarre images such as a leaping frog, a person making pottery and a dove). All of that coo,l experimental stuff aside, the show was freakin’ hilarious! Each character was even more absurd than the next and they always got into some crazy situation that was always resulted in some random act of violence. If you have not seen the show, slap yourself right now. Then, immediately go out and purchase the box set Every Stoopid Episode. But, where are the actors that played Neil, Vyvyan, Rick, Mike and even Jerzei Balowski?
First up, is Nigel Planer who played loveably naive hippie Neil. Full name: Neil Wheedon Watkins Pye. Poor Neil was always the one to do all the cooking (lentils, of course), he tried to commit suicide in episode, got hassled whilst on the toilet, and was “accidentally” killed by Rik in which he was reborn multiple times because, “first you sow the seeds, nature grows the seeds, then we eat the seeds!” He also coined the phrase, “Boomshanka!” Meaning: May the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman. After The Young Ones ended, Nigel was the only original cast member to sign on to do an American version of the show. It was to be called Oh No! Not Them! He immediately was over the moon when the pilot episode failed and he was let out of his contract. Nigel has appeared in many West End musicals, including Evita, Chicago, We Will Rock You, Wicked and Hairspray. He currently narrates the children’s TV show, Grizzly Tales for Gruesome Kids in the U.K. and is the voice of Dr. Marmalade in Spongebob Squarepants. Nigel is twice divorced and has two kids.
Adrian Edmondson played psychotic punk rocker Vyvyan Basterd who was pregnant in one episode, decapitated in another and owned a Glaswegian hamster named Special Patrol Group (SPG). While shooting The Young Ones, Adrian met his future wife Jennifer Saunders (half of the comedy duo, French and Saunders at the time). Jennifer appeared in two episodes: one as a party goer and the other as the character Helen Mucous. Adrian did various other TV shows and West End productions, as well as dabbling in music, directing videos for bands such as Squeeze, The Pogues and 10,000 Maniacs. When Jennifer’s show Absolutely Fabulous took off, Adrian was a writer and recurring character. Jennifer’s name on the show, Edina Monsoon, was derived from a nickname given to Adrian in his college years–Eddie Monsoon=Edmondson. Today, the two are the parents to three daughters, one of which is a singer in the U.K. named Ella Edmondson. Recently, Adrian’s wife Jennifer has been battling breast cancer after a 2009 diagnosis. She is in remission following a lumpectomy, chemotherapy and radiotherapy. In Absolutely Fabulous news, it was recently announced that a new series of three more episodes are being made for the 20th anniversary of the original production, and in the U.S., will be co-produced by Logo and BBC America. Side note: The theme song for Absolutely Fabulous, “This Wheel’s on Fire,” was co-written by Bob Dylan and Rick Danko and performed by Adrian and singer Julie Driscoll.
Rik Mayall’s character Rick, The People’s Poet, was my favorite. He was spotty and nerdy and not cool in any way. A self-proclaimed anarchist, he always seemed to get the rickety chair, threw many tantrums and was a big fan of cheesy singer Cliff Richard. Rik appeared in many English comedy shows through the years, oftentimes alongside Adrian Edmondson. He also appeared as Phoebe Cates’ imaginary friend in the 1991 film, Drop Dead Fred. In 1998, Rik had a freak accident after crashing his quad bike in his yard on a rainy day that left him with a fractured skull and two hematomas. He was in a medically induced coma for five days until the swelling in his brain subsided. After leaving the hospital, he was told he would need anti-seizure medicine for one-year to prevent epileptic seizures. He did not follow doctor’s orders, had a seizure and nearly bit straight through his tongue. He now has to take the medication for life. Rik continues to work today on sitcoms, some of which make light of his accident. He is married with three kids. His son, Sidney, recently starred in a spoof reality show about the spoiled children of celebrities called, Showbiz Kids.
Christopher Ryan played the diminutive stud of the gang, Mike “The Cool Person.” He never really was given a full name. He didn’t need one. All the ladies of North London wanted a piece of him. He was cool, confident, sexy–he also accidentally nailed his legs to a table, sleeps with an inflatable sex doll and is almost murdered by Helen Mucous (Saunders) when she tries to suffocate him with a pillow. Christopher went on to appear in many shows including the incredible Only Fools and Horses, Doctor Who, and Absolutely Fabulous as one of Edina’s ex-husbands.
No Young Ones ‘Where Are They Now’ would be complete without a quick update on Alexei Sayle, one of the casts most versatile players. He wore many disguises, most frequently as the boys’ landlord Jerzei Balowski. The boys both mocked and feared him and his appearance on the screen always brought the unexpected. He went from playing a stand-up comic to Benito Mussolini to a South African vampire. Since the show ended, Alexei has appeared in countless comedy shows, sitcoms, and even dramatic roles (Gorky Park in 1983 and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade in 1989). He’s been married to the same woman since 1974.
Please enjoy Part II of the Stuff I Can’t Live Without experiment of what the chicks in my life carry around with them in their handbags. They may have anonymity, but since this is my blog I will admit to owning all of this crap. 🙂
A stack of Starbucks Pick of the Week cards that I have yet to download.
Kate Spade glasses, cleaning cloth, case
Oscar de la Renta sunglasses
Visine for contacts
MAC Fabulush Frost
MAC Juxt Satin
Rimmel Stay Matte pressed powder
Bobbi Brown’s Beauty Rules Make-up Notebook
Kuumba Made Amber & Sandalwood fragrance oil
Keys, pen, two sets of barrettes, one elastic
One piece of Lake Champlain Dark Chocolate that my nephew bought me this weekend.
My late grandfather’s license cuz he’s so cute to look at, along with a tiny St. Theresa pin that was his.
Pacifico Indian Coconut Nectar Body Butter
An Amsterdam pill holder with B-12 and Tylenol
Wallet with the essentials: Metrocard, license, store cards, some cash, Starbucks treat receipt.
Twelve different lip glosses/balms/sticks: Dior, Philosophy, Kiss My Face, Burt’s Bees, Smashbox, MAC, CO Bigelow, Sephora, Labello, Palmer’s and Buxom.
Four eyeliners and a lipliner.
**Yes, I only have one set of eyes and lips. It’s absolutely unnecessary for me to carry around so much junk.
We all love looking into people’s stuff, right? Not that we would, but we’re all voyeurs to a certain extent. One thing that has always intrigued me is why we ladies feel the need to carry so much random stuff in our purses. I’m just as guilty. The bigger the purse the more I absolutely NEED to bring with me because you never know when you’re going to need a guilder from Holland and an Irish Euro 5 cent piece. BTW, Holland doesn’t even use the guilder anymore—in 2002 they adopted the euro as its currency. I’m sure it’s more about sentimental value, reminding me of my trips to both countries. Along those lines, I also carry my late grandfather’s old license and his tiny St. Theresa pin. Not sure why, but I’m convinced if I don’t have them, something awful may happen. I know it’s weird and I fully accept this.
I have a gaggle of gorgeous friends, so I thought why not see what they’ve got in their purses. I asked a handful of them and they were more than happy to spill. But, what I’ve learned about myself from this little experiment is that I am a full-on hoarder of lipstick/gloss/balm and eyeliner. No one needs to carry this much product around with them on a daily basis, but I do. What I’ve learned about the majority of my friends is that they too are hoarders of all kinds of things. A few ladies have it together, and only carry the bare necessities—those are more than likely the ones without back problems. We can all take a cue from them. For the rest of us, I know two amazing massage therapists that can help with your back pain, so send me an email if you want their info. Oh! I’ve also learned that I should probably buy stock in Burt’s Bees. Enjoy the first installment of Stuff I Can’t Live Without!
Part II coming soon…